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Still, to Orlov his actions — in reality the symptoms — spoke louder than words.Another common challenge is what Orlov terms “symptom-response-response.” ADHD symptoms alone don’t cause trouble.This might involve going on weekly dates, talking about issues that are important and interesting to you (“not just logistics”) and even scheduling time for sex.(Because ADHD partners get easily distracted, they might spend hours on an activity like the computer, and before you know it, you’re fast asleep.)6. When untreated, ADHD might affect all areas of a person’s life, and it’s hard to separate the symptoms from the person you love, Orlov said.Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can dramatically affect a relationship.Research has shown that a person with ADHD may be almost twice as likely to get divorced, and relationships with one or two people with the disorder often become dysfunctional.(At the time she and her husband didn’t realize that he had ADHD.) She misinterpreted her husband’s distractibility as a sign that he didn’t love her anymore.But if you would’ve asked him, his feelings for her hadn’t changed.

“Leg 3” is “interactions with your partner,” such as scheduling time together and using verbal cues to stop fights from escalating.3. Regardless of who has ADHD, both partners are responsible for working on the relationship, Orlov emphasized.So it’s important to pick an organizational system that works for you and includes reminders.For instance, it’s tremendously helpful to break down a project into several actionable steps on paper and set cell phone reminders regularly, Orlov said.5. “Marriage is all about attending to each other adequately,” said Orlov, who suggested that couples consider how they can better connect with each other.In other words, “Once you start looking at ADHD symptoms, you can get to the root of the problem and start to manage and treat the symptoms as well as manage the responses,” Orlov said.2. Orlov likens optimal treatment for ADHD to a three-legged stool.(The first two steps are relevant for everyone with ADHD; the last is for people in relationships.)“Leg 1” involves making “physical changes to balance out the chemical differences in the brain,” which includes medication, aerobic exercise and sufficient sleep.

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