Redating an ex years later
They are looking for an escape from the demands of life, and the old flame takes on the bright shining light of deliverance. The once bright light that looked like a beacon of hope in the storm was more like a kraken leading you towards the rocky shores of a shipwreck.
My advised choice point looks quite logical in hindsight, but if you are in this situation now, it does not look so simple.
We have been divorced for 2 years and although it saddens me that my family has been broken apart, I am happy that my ex and I have have managed to be civil enough to make it okay for the kids.
When the relationship or the memory of that relationship no longer serves you, YOU KNOW. We look to our exes like an escape from whatever crap we’re dealing with – associating them with a better / easier time. theory #2, buddhism derived : So one of the pillars of buddhism is the concept that everything good is temporary. The story of her made me understand that life happens once. Trying to set up a fake chance meeting could easily backfire. Most importantly his sixth sense might spot your deception. Wanting to feel more fabulous than your ex, and creating the situation to make that happen, is really no big deal.So what if you feel awful and foolish by the end of it? If he feels the same way, he’d be into it; if he doesn’t, ok (again, who cares? I dated a girl back when I was 18 for about 2 years – we broke up when she went to a different college, I joined the military – we stayed friends, dated again when I got out. We weren’t seeing eachother a lot, with work / school – she got a second boyfriend on the side, then I became the second boyfriend on the side. I took some psychology classes in college, also studied up on buddhism. So psychology first : people who aren’t happy in life, tend to lean on their partner for happiness – it’s unhealthy but it’s what people tend to do.A few more lies follow when the wrongdoer is confronted and tries to limit the marital damages. Expect to talk about any unhappiness that may be seeping into your relationship.At this time, the current spouse is hurt by the infidelity as well as the lies and denial. When they come to my office for therapy, they work on repairing the damages and fixing the elements of the marriage that weren’t working before the affair. When I review the choices that the wrongdoer made along to way, it is clear to me how the situation could have turned out better. As soon as you begin to have feelings for another person, tell your partner, even if this disclosure causes you pain, embarrassment, or discomfort. Dissatisfaction that didn’t have words previously will now have names.