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Last summer when I got married I wore a white lace dress, donned a flower crown, and held a bouquet.I was the picture of a traditional bride — but for my half-sleeve tattoo, and my provocative history.Before my husband and I met, I worked on and off as a stripper through college, and then as a call girl on Craigslist for a brief stint when I was in grad school.In 2007, I quit sex work for good to become an elementary school teacher.Even worse, the report found some sex workers internalized the stigma of their profession and viewed themselves as deserving of punishment and abuse from their partners. Almost ten years ago, when I first stopped drinking and was just getting out of the sex industry, I fell into a relationship with a man who made me feel ashamed of my then-recent past.Mike* had plenty of baggage of his own, beginning but not ending with an unshakeable drug habit.

According to a report by the Sex Workers Education and Advocacy Taskforce, the criminalized and stigmatized nature of the industry makes sex workers particularly vulnerable to intimate partner violence.With this somewhat impulsive decision, my dream of normalcy felt forever compromised.To protect myself from stigma, I kept my job a secret from nearly everyone, including Dave.Whether you’re a dancer or an escort, a porn star or a cam girl, the same questions arise: how and when to tell the person you’re dating, and then, how to manage their reaction (they always have one). Regardless of occupation, not everybody wants a committed, monogamous relationship. Even before high school, when I met and started dating a man I nearly married, I knew I wanted the kind of “normal” family I’d never had growing up.My father, never very emotionally present to begin with, left our family just as soon as I turned 18 (I haven’t seen him since).

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