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In the end, this is what it comes down to, and not just in open relationships, in relationship, even the ones you have with people you don’t have sex with.

Even, and especially the one you have with yourself.

He looks at me incredulously, and still needs to know why.

I spend the next half hour explaining to him that I have no idea in about fifteen different ways. Of those, one was someone worthy of my time and effort.

The interactions I have before, during and after dates sometimes defy reason or explanation, but there is always, always, always something to be learned. Before I got here I set up dates with ten people, roughly. At this point in my life, dating is a numbers game and in order to get what I need, I must practice patience, openness, and compassion.

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I feel safe knowing that I can freely share my body and my sexual energy with a person and be very clear about the fact that we will never be arguing over how much attention I need, how much he looks at other women, or how boring the sex is getting. I know that my person, my fella, is the person I will grapple with. The ridiculous things I say when I am not thinking. The questions most people ask me about my relationship, “don’t you get jealous?The other thing that happens is when you meet someone that you actually like.This is a wonderful event in any individual’s dating life, but when you are in an open relationship, it is especially wonderful because you know there are boundaries.Very often conversations with my friends revolve around this item when we are talking about my relationship status.I have the good fortune to be able to be forthcoming with my friends about my open relationship; mostly because I know they love and support me, but also because I refuse to keep my sexuality a secret.

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